Change: Excitement and Anxiety

For all of us, now is a time of intense change. Staying inside, having time for projects, worrying about money, etc; all of this obviously comes with its fair share of anxiety and excitement in different ways. There's one group that I belong to that is experiencing their own type of anxiety about the future: the Class of 2020.

The fast transition to online learning meant relief for some, but for other students like myself, it meant 1,000 times more effort to get things done. Without the built-in accountability of being in the classroom space, I found it immensely difficult to get work done. Now that online learning has wrapped up for college students and the at-home graduation pictures are being taken, there is a moment to breathe.

The anxiety starts for us students when we stop to think how long that moment can and will last. There are still so many question marks as to what will happen in the Fall. Can we start our masters in person? If we can't, can we deferr the start of our degree to 2021? What will ensembles look like? Can we even hear a live orchestra again in 2020? The anxiety can be overwhelming.

One way we can combat this anxiety is to intentionally interpret it differently. Anxiety and excitement trigger the same physical response, so I have been intentionally trying to reinterpret the axniety as excitement and hope. Of course this won't make our anxiety towards the future go away 100%, but I've found it takes the edge off. Us students are anxious about having (or not having) in-person class in the Fall. I'm excited because we could be the first to enter the work force armed with knowledge on how to creatively navigate the "new normal" and make the best of a bad situation. Of course all the student musicians are anxious about playing with people in-person again. I absolutely crave that as well, but I'm excited that we will be the first musicians in history to explore the possibility of widespread, international live digital concert halls like the Berlin Philharmonic. Will it replace live music? Of course not, but I'm excited to see what the Creatives of the Pandemic Class will come up with to navigate these times.

Stay safe, stay healthy, stay home.